Chocolate, as everybody knows… (let the reader imagine here a description of its making)

January 28, 2013 § Leave a comment


Dwayne showed up again and we headed back upstairs for further roof sex. Yay, roof sex!

I was enjoying the view from my doggy style position when it all went tits up. Metaphorically.

Trevor showed up on the roof. My initial reaction was “feck off, we’re busy!”. Dwayne asked if I minded, and – rather distracted by the penis inside me – I shrugged it off, saying “yeah, sure”, because I don’t mind random people watching me fuck so long as they don’t actually cheer.

Except then he came round in front of me and got his penis out, evidently wanting me to suck it off.

Um. No. That’s not the way it works. I’m not a fecking magnet. Just because you flap your bits around in front of me does not mean I’m going to automatically attach myself to them. And this guy, I didn’t fancy him, I’d never had a proper conversation with him – this was not a penis I wanted to be involved in.

“No, I don’t want to.”

Except the penis didn’t go away.

“Don’t want to.”

The penis didn’t go away.

I stopped moving, propped myself up on my hands instead of my elbows, looked Trevor straight in the eye.

“I don’t want to do anything to you. Put your cock away.”

That worked, but I decided right then that I was going to leave as soon as possible. I should never have to ask three times to not be eiffel towered. Never.

I allowed the sex I was currently involved in to end, then told Dwayne it was getting late and I needed to go home. I think Dwayne got unhappy vibes from me; he was quiet and withdrawn as he walked me to the subway. I kissed him bye and reminded him that I was flying home in two days, then walked home and went to sleep in my own bed.

I’m angry. I think that kind of treatment is completely inappropriate. Firstly, I’d informed Trevor just 30 minutes ago that I didn’t want to play with him. Secondly, I shouldn’t be asked to take part in any kind of deviant sexual behaviour without prior negotiation. Look, I hang out in fetish clubs. I’m used to people I don’t know asking for all kinds of weird shit, but that’s the point: they ask. They don’t just get their bits out without any prior negotiation. Thirdly, even if you decide to ignore the first two, “no” should be a cast-iron line in the sand. If someone says “no”, you back off. Instantly, without questioning the other person’s decision or trying to persuade them to change their mind.

It makes me wonder how those people view women, or more precisely, women who enjoy casual sex. When it comes to sex, making assumptions based on someone’s prior behaviour is dangerous. “She slept with me once, so she’ll do it again”; “she slept with my friend so she’ll sleep with me”; etc. That is not necessarily true and believing it is means that you end up with the kind of situation described above. A more insecure girl, someone who has problems saying no, would probably have gone ahead and done it even if she didn’t really want to. If you think that kind of thing is okay, you need to reconsider how you view sex and sexual partners. I guess that in some ways I’m lucky that I have the lady-balls to turn people down; I’ve only had sex with one person I didn’t really want to (in a kind of didn’t know how I was going to get home, sort of said I didn’t want to but he seemed so disappointed and upset I consented regardless type of way) and I learnt my lesson from how shit I felt the next day. Never again will I be guilted or intimidated or be forced into having any kind of sexual contact that I don’t want to have.

To be honest, two guys at once, from both sides of me, is a fantasy of mine. If Trevor had taken the time to ask me before I got naked if I was okay with that, I might well have said yes, and then this would have been a “yay threesome!” type post. But he didn’t. So fuck him.  read more

PHOTOGRAPH: Michael Sippey

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